But if your wife or your grief dominates the discussion every time you go out, you’re probably not ready. Was there something you wanted to do that was set aside because of the marriage or the illness of your wife—like hike the Appalachian Trail for six months, or live in a yurt on an island off the west coast of Scotland?You can go out with someone without calling it a date, and without any thoughts of it being romantic or leading to marriage. Sparks are fun, but you may need social time more than romance. Do you want to move to a different part of the country? You have the opportunity to figure these things out and try new ideas. Maybe you’ll prefer to live alone for a time and see other people only socially. Kathryn Rateliff Barr has taught birth, parenting, vaccinations and alternative medicine classes since 1994.She is a pastoral family counselor and has parented birth, step, adopted and foster children.
It's quite common for couples to find each other through online dating.I do believe that many widows and widowers have a very strong belief that if they begin dating, it is a sign of disrespect to the one that they lost. Everyone that I have talked to believes that the loved one who has departed would want you to be happy.Please reconsider this thought process because it is so wrong and so damaging to you on a personal and emotional level. It is not disloyal to seek the companionship of another person after your loved one has passed away, or you have lost someone to divorce. I believe that the loved one who has departed would not want you to be lonely and sad. You are single—morally, socially, and legally single.You don’t have to jump into dating, even if women (or men) are pounding on your door. If you only want to talk about your wife, and aren’t interested in learning about your date, then you’re probably not ready.You can casually chat with women and see how you feel. It’s okay to talk about your wife, of course, because she was a big part of your life and her death continues to affect you, so your grief is a topic of discussion.