Now imagine that feeling multiplied times a tsunami and you’ll know what washed over me when called up to see if I would travel around the country going on dates to find out if location really matters when you’re looking for love.
And the bassist who insisted I listen to 10 minutes of his music while he watched me react to it.
That’s the feeling that rises up in my throat whenever anyone asks me the totally non-condescending question of why I’m still single, which I’ve answered so many times in so many tones (“Just haven't met the right guy, I guess! There was the guy who kept taking calls from a number he’d labeled “Happy Happy Fun Time,” which turned out to be his drug dealer.
I've met guys in bars, at parties, while snowboarding, through friends, and online via Ok Cupid, Match, Tinder, Hinge, Happn, Bumble, The League, How About We, Coffee Meets Bagel, and even Nerve.com, a site for “literary smut” that hosted online personals in that early-aughts dark age before smartphones.
And the winner who showed up in sweatpants and couldn’t buy me a drink because he’d spent his last on a beer and wings special for himself. And there’ve been wonderful guys in the mix too, most of whom fizzled out because in this city, it’s just really hard to fit two people, and their ambitions, into one relationship. ”) Maybe a change of location — to New Bern, North Carolina; Miami, Florida; Austin, Texas; Sioux Falls, South Dakota; Detroit, Michigan; and Los Angeles, California — was the answer.
Things move so fast in New York that I only recently stopped to ask myself how I’d wound up here, over 35 and still single, but not always wanting to be. I’d already crossed the fuck-it-something's-got-to-give threshold of my New York dating life. If this trip had been a blind date, I would’ve walked out of the bar the second I saw New Bern’s offerings, via a terrifying night of Tindering.
It seems, so much in our lives, we can experience this sense of love unreturned to us by those we want it from.
You’re a lover; I’m a lover; we’re all lovers here in The Daily Love community.
I wish someone had been preaching abstinence in my ear when I was in high school. Being aware of them can help a young person make and stick to the decision to avoid premature sexual involvement.When I first wrote about my experiences with Bin Laden ten years ago, I also wrote about Condoleeza Rice being chased across North Africa by Moamar Khadafi…I wrote about the song he wrote about her. And during the time that I worked for Khadafi at White Bride I watched one Arab billionare after the other come and go with tall, chocolate African mistresses (and sometimes even wives) in tow. But I remember him buying her a mansion in Italy and an apartment building in London.Back then, Palestinian leader Arafat had a Black American mistress who was also a porn star. The following year, when Osama Bin Laden released me, he gave me a farm in Kenya and a house in South Africa.Consistent condom use reduces by only 50% the risk for chlamydia — the cause of virtually all cervical cancer in women — a significant risk remains.Some STIs can be passed on by skin-to-skin contact in the entire genital area, only a small part of which is covered by a condom.