A date would necessitate the removal of the roof and a whale sling. NOT INTO EMAIL TENNIS I need to secure a date as soon as possible, before you suss out what a tedious dullard I am. A woman's place is in the home and, more precisely, the kitchen - preferably cooking his meals and elbow deep in his dirty shirts. He'll order for you in a restaurant and pat you on the bottom and say 'don't you worry your pretty head about it' when you ask him about his day. Only to be pursued if you like men who moult all over your furniture. Speak slowly and clearly and always be within five minutes of a toilet.
Cuddling is very unlikely, although squashing is a distinct possibility. The good news is he travels for free and gets in half-price at the cinema. The sort of person you cross the road to avoid, even if the road is the M1 in the rushhour.
So, to help you navigate your way into the dating world here is our guide to the many acronyms of online dating: AML – You must be doing something right as this means all my love.
ACA – If you receive this it means all calls answered CPL – Stay away if this isn’t your thing, because this person is in a couple.
However, with online dating becoming popular with apps such as Tinder, Badoo and Happn; Shakespeare’s poetical romantic words are being left behind.
In its place, a more modern method of communication has developed with the emergence of a new dating speak made up of acronyms unknown to many.
I'm relatively new to this online dating and forums (forums are really interesting and fun to follow).
A staggering 65 per cent of British singletons now turn to the internet looking for love. It doesn't matter if the guy is 60, he'll still confine his searches to '35 and under', so any woman's age should be taken as a ball park figure. Working her way through the internet site and it's your turn. Looking for a new wardrobe, jewellery and a few weekends away before she dumps you for a 25-year-old Adonis. Normality should be a given, so run a mile from anyone selling it as a good point. The golden rule of internet dating is that anyone who feels obliged to mention they have a sense of humour is usually devoid of one. LOOKS NOT IMPORTANT Barrel-scraping beggar who can't afford to be a chooser.5ft 10 5ft 7.GSOH – No, this doesn’t mean gosh, this person likes a laugh and has a good sense of humour or is looking for someone who can laugh at themselves.IMHO – It’s down to points of view with this acronym: in my humble opinion. Internet dating, virtual dating An interactive dating system which allows individuals (and couples and groups) to make contact and communicate with each other over the Internet with the objective of developing a personal, romantic or sexual relationship.Online dating services generally provide unmoderated matchmaking forums over the Internet through the use of computers or mobile devices.