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Businesses – at least ones that don’t involve bottle service or sushi – are not. You won’t be able to make small talk with strangers. Everyone lives at home – Getting the third degree from your date’s father didn’t end when you graduated High School! Offices are like zoos – The only way your workplace’s loud music, noisy phone conversations, and Spanglish yelling across cubicles will seem normal is if your previous workplace was a dog kennel. Everyone is short – If you’re male and over 6 feet tall, you will generally have every guy in the bar trying to fight you by 2 a.m. Its nice to know I am not alone in my disgust and named all of the reason why I moved away from Miami. Never be generalized as you do, because it is narrow-minded, low cultural level and mediocre education understand that everything must be to your liking or parameters. something your cold and anti-family culture can’t get.

Heck, I even like Cuban food and Salsa dancing and got a B in 12th grade Spanish! If you came here for a week and thought Miami was your new home, here’s 25 realities you need to accept before you make our skyline your background on Facebook (even though you probably already have). Jobs are scarce – People are always trying to move here. You have to drive like a maniac to survive – Everyone in Miami knows the slowest way to get from Point A to Point B is by following all the traffic laws. Nothing runs on time – This becomes infuriatingly clear the first time you arrive on time for dinner – starving - and have to wait an hour and a half until everyone else shows up. It’s frustratingly transient – Living in Miami for an extended period of time is kinda like being the last guy alive at the retirement home. You will be an outsider – You won’t understand the water cooler banter. I mean, so much they’re building a Goddam ark out in Hialeah. You won’t go to the beach after your first year – And every time you plan to, it will rain. Clubs are for tourists – You think anyone who pays these rents can afford a Bud Light? The Spanish thing is no joke – How many 20,000 square foot stores can you name in your hometown with all their signs in Spanish? I wish they would all go back to where they came from. Any city in the world has its idiosyncrasies, its culture, its peculiarities and that makes it special, that makes so many people like it and others not so much. We have many intelligent people in Miami, people who read and laugh and want to be ‘home’ with their loving parents…

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